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1. Notice those people, in both personal and professional relationships, with whom you are in rapport and those with whom you are out of rapport. What is the difference between the two sets of people?
2. What do you need to know about an individual in order to want to be in rapport with him? Are there people you work with daily with whom you are continually out of rapport? What specifically makes it difficult for you to be with these people? What would they have to do or think differently for you to accept them? Consider behaviors you would have to adopt in order to accept them.
3. Examine your client base. Are these people you have a difficult time with? Consider any criterial similarities you could gravitate toward to help your relationship with them.
4. During your calls, get into a voice match immediately through your volume, tone, tempo, pitch and cadence. Although this is a conscious process for you, the person on the other end won't notice anything other than a feeling of sameness. (It is not necessary to continue with the match throughout the call, just until criterial rapport is reached.)
5. You will recognize criterial rapport when the conversation takes on an easy flow and you are aware, or unconscious, of trying to do anything different than be who you are. Note in several conversations how long it takes you to get into criterial rapport. Are there time differences between conversations with people you know and cold calls?
6. Maintain a "we space" by working from agreement and continually summing up the information you've gathered.
7. Internally, continually monitor your client's comfort level. Has his tempo changed? The volume? Are the two of you regularly taking turns speaking? Is he getting interested enough in you to ask you questions? Are you matched criterially?
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