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1. Name a skill/hobby which you perform with excellence.
2. Note which functions you perform from the Self position. What parts of your behavior do you perform automatically?
3. Note which functions you perform from the Observer position. What questions do you ask yourself to check your progress?
4. Note which functions you perform from the Other position. How do you know when you have to make a shift in behavior?
5. Notice shifting between the three. How and when do you do it? In which position is it easiest to operate with conscious choice. Which is hardest?
6. What would make it possible for you to be able to shift between the three positions at will.
7. Remember a time you were having an argument on the phone. Make a mental picture of this event. Record the voice quality (volume, tempo, tone, pitch) and your body posture from this picture in your notebook. Try to remember the gist of the conversation and what you may have been thinking of. Note the amount of freedom you had in making different behavioral choices during the course of the argument. Note any comparisons of judgments. This is the Self position.
8. Remember a time when a stranger approached you to get directions. Note your ability to listen with curiosity and without judgment. Note any internal dialogue you had. Did you make any judgments about the person asking for directions? Note your voice and body posture. Note your freedom to make behavioral choices for yourself. This is the Observer position.
9. Remember a time you were comforting a friend by just listening and supporting. Were you aware of their feelings? Were you aware of their comfort with you? Note your voice and body posture. Note you freedom to make behavioral choices for yourself. This is the Other position.
10. In the above three scenes, compare the differences in your physiology, beliefs, behavior, judgment, voice quality, and body posture. Note these differences (between Self, Observer and Other) on paper and place the sheet on the wall near your desk.
11. Think about the differences in your behaviors and physiology in the three positions. Begin to notice when you are using Self, Observer or Other in different situations during the day.
12. Imagine a specific difficult business situation, either in person or on the phone. In your mind's eye, practice using the body posture, voice and behaviors you use in Self, Observer and Other, and begin to adopt the behaviors and physiology of each position. Note any difficulties or triumphs. Note which ones are easy or hard. Which positions do you use randomly? Most frequently? What do you need to learn to give yourself more behavioral choices?
13. Begin adopting these behaviors and stances consciously during daily interactions. Start with easy, comfortable interactions. Before you progress to more difficult ones, make sure some of the shifting between positions is starting to come naturally. It might take days or weeks of practice. Be aware of the difference it makes in your ability to make decisions, remain in rapport, to solve problems, to understand another person's map, and to empathize.
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